Silverfish Camouflage Underpants
As I've stated previously, as well as being a man of science pertaining to both the mind and body, an impeccable gourmand, an expert in animal husbandry (ask me anything about chickens, giant frogs or squabs and I will have you on the edge of your seat for hours at a stretch), a philosopher and observer of the cosmos as well as an amateur plastics injection moulder, I am also a haberdasher extraordinaire who has trained with some of the finest tailors on Saville Row to various schmatta sweatshop owners in Eastern Europe and the Orient, utilizing materials you wouldn't imagine could touch human skin let alone catch on fire so easily. It is through this teaching, much like in the old country where you ate every part of the cow and pig, that I have learned to use materials for my clothing creations that most people would just throw in the waste bin. On the throw-away theme, it was precisely this no-waste philosophy that led me to fabricate my famed silverfish camouflage underpants that have garnered fans from as far away as New Jersey and as close as Sudbury.
Luckily for me I had been saving toilet paper rolls by the dozens for just such an emergency, so it was not difficult to construct twenty of these effigies and using one of my saggier pairs of underwear because of space affordability on their surface, with silver duct tape to accentuate the whole silverfish motif, I stuck them to the skivvies and wasted no time in donning my creation and putting them to the test in the bathroom. I lay in wait, well, crouched actually, preparing myself psychologically for the battle. I'm sad to say, this first foray into silverfish reconnaissance was not a success until I realized a vital element was missing.